


Crossing Over Dimensions to You

by jihyunxmc



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 03:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15654828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihyunxmc/pseuds/jihyunxmc
Summary: You loved him, and you wanted to be with him, but how far will you go for him?





	Crossing Over Dimensions to You

You were born into a world of loneliness, a world without any support or backup. However, it didn’t bother you. It didn’t matter to you. While others called you lonely, you labelled yourself as independent. You took pride in your independence because you never needed anyone nor anything.

Yes, indeed it was a good excuse.

Laying on top of your soft bed, you continued to justify to yourself that you were fine like this—that you were fine staying in the comfort of your own room. The four enclosing walls of your room is more than enough, you have accepted this room as your entire world. This place is paradise.

Letting the laptop on top of your chest warm your entire body, you began wonder. You are comfortable living like this but why do you feel so empty? You have everything you ever wanted, yet you feel like you have nothing. You close your eyes in deep thought only to get your thoughts interrupted by your phones sound notification. You knew that sound very well.

The dawn of the sun hits your room as you make your way to the phone. You take the laptop off your chest gently, yet with a sense of haste. Your heart begins to race as you pick up the phone from your nightstand. When you open the app the familiar music fills the room.  
  
Your back touches the board of the bed as you begin to hum the theme while entering yet another chatroom with your favorite group of individuals, the RFA. You open the RFA chatroom only to be met with Zen talking this big play he gets to perform in. You have played this chatroom at least 7 times but even though you know everything word by word, you were not tired of it. You loved every moment of it. You could feel yourself grin as you continued to read the chatroom, butterflies filling your stomach.  
  
Yes, you were fine living like this, on your own inside this room with your favorites. You didn’t need friends, you didn’t want to branch out into the real world. What’s the point of even trying? You knew you would be faced with rejection and mockery. No one cared about you. Plus, no one will understand you anyways. You don’t even understand yourself anymore. Unlike people of this world, the RFA understood you, Zen understood you. They cared about you and that’s all you ever wanted. You’re happy with this, you were happy living this way. You didn’t need anything else and you didn’t need anyone else.

The more you tried to justify your beliefs the more you began to frown at your own thoughts.

You—you wanted more.

Are you selfish for wanting more? What did you even want to begin with? Confused and frustrated you cower under your blanket and forcefully shut your eyes.

“This is all because of that stupid DLC!” You curse under your breath.

However, you couldn’t stop thinking about the events that took place in the Zen’s Birthday DLC. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that although you loved spending time with the RFA it was temporary happiness. At first you embraced the hand RFA extended to you, but now it’s not enough. You wanted more. All you could think about were the words Zen said to you when you told him that you were from another dimension. You remember everything word by word, you remember Zen tell you that the feelings “we have towards each other can’t be trapped in any dimension”, your eyes begin to form tears and roll down your cheeks.

You quickly wipe away your tears and check your phone again you go back to the chat history and open that infamous chatroom. You have read the chat and the Bad Ending visual novel at least five times by now. These are just words coming from character who doesn’t exists…right? Then why does it matter to you so much? After getting that ending you didn’t even have the strength to replay the DLC. You wanted to call Zen to at least be able to hear his voice, but you were not strong enough. You felt more tears touch your cheeks.

“Zen, do you think our thoughts and feelings transcend dimensions?” you said out loud hoping that he could hear you. You had no one. Your parents didn’t care about you, your “friends” abandoned you. All you ever had was the RFA. They cared about you, they looked after you. They were always there to support you. They loved you for being you. While others rejected and mistreated you, the RFA always supported you.

You once again wipe away your tears. You knew what you had to do. It was the only thing you could do. This dimension did not have a place for you other than the enclosing walls of your room. You wanted more, you needed more. What’s the point being in a dimension where no would care if you were to drop dead. As you thought more about it, an idea began to form. That’s right. No one would really care if you were to just disappear, and if you just go missing no one would waste their time looking for you. Then why waste time in this dimension? You don’t belong here, not anymore. You only belong with the RFA.

You have to get out of here. It’s the only way. You can’t just suffocate here anymore. You’re in the wrong dimension and this has all being a mistake. You promised Zen that you will try your best to be with him. You have to at least try. If you can leave this place, no this prison of a life, you will find Zen.

You get out of your bed and make your way to the bathroom. You know you have a first aid kit inside your cabinet. You search until you find your first aid kit. You open the box and get the bottle of hydrogen peroxide inside it.

You felt a sense of joy as you slowly opened the bottle, you couldn’t wait to get out of horrendous place. No more neglect, no more isolation, and no more loneliness. You know the RFA will be ready to embrace you with open arms, unlike anyone else you have ever met. Finally, you can find happiness. You will finally be able to experience love, you will finally know what it’s like to have people that care about you. You couldn’t wait to leave.

“I will see you soon, Zen. Let’s be together forever.” You say as you being to drink out of the bottle.

**Author's Note:**

> I am trying something different for today. I am not sure if it will be a boom or a bust. So, we’ll just have to wait and see ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
